Chocolate chip pancakes

On one of our weekly trips to the library we found a book called Tallulah in the Kitchen by Nancy Wolff. In it Tallulah bakes blueberry pancakes. The story is basically a how-to book and I thought it might be nice to make pancakes (chocolate chip of course) as an activity. Usually I think stuff like that ends up being more trouble than fun but with TWO adults home it actually worked out great. Ron did most of the cooking since I had Alex in the sling. We all ate them and they were delicious. Of course, the next day T wanted them again and Ron told her we didn't have all the ingredients. T then proceeded to list EACH ingredient from memory and point out that we still have everything. "We have eggs!... We have baking powder!... We have milk!..." I couldn't believe she remembered EVERYTHING. My smart girl!

Downtime

Ron has a long weekend off from work. We decided to spend some time exploring Wisconsin instead of going away on a big trip. We went to Devil's Lake State Park, which is about 30 minutes from our house. We went hiking and played by the lake. Talia didn't want to walk of course, so we took the monster stroller we recently bought used from an acquaintance. It wasn't the best situation but I felt like we actually *did* something when we were done with our 1.5 mile hike. This park has some cool looking trails of different difficulty levels and I can't wait to try them with older kids or just with Ron. The weather has been beautiful this weekend. Next up on the agenda: a ferry, a farm and a waterpark.

She poops!

I know, really exciting stuff! After more than a year of T peeing on the potty (she was very easy to train and I'm thankful for that), she finally will now POOP on the potty! It took a few months of us struggling to get her to try. No amount of bribery worked. I finally used the "we have no more diapers/ pull ups" trick. I let her watch the pile dwindle down and finally I just told he we didn't have any more. She was so proud of herself! I took her straight to the toy store and she picked out a Sleeping Beauty dress up dress with shoes and a wand. We called all of our family from the car. The next day she reminded me that I had promised to paint her nails when she went (one of a LONG SERIES of bribes that included chewing gum, getting some Princess Polly Pockets, eating chocolate covered cherries etc.). It's been about 5 days now and all is well in the universe!

It's Starting...

It's no secret that I haven't bonded with Alex the way I did with Talia (instantaneously and stronger than anything I've ever felt in my life). I don't know if it is because he's a boy or because he's the second child. Or is it that the move to Wisconsin came less than two months after he was born. Or because I had him naturally (I had an epidural with T) and it hurt like hell. Or was it the crying crying crying?

My mom talks about how having my sister, her first child, ruined her life. She didn't think about whether or not to have children, it was just what everyone did. She never realized how it would change her life. When I asked why she had me she said that it wasn't that she didn't love my sister, just that she ruined my mom's life and since her life was already ruined she may as well have a second (and a third). I never felt that Talia ruined my life. I didn't really care so much that I didn't have time for anything. I didn't want to follow my general creative pursuits-- she was my greatest creation and I was content to sit and watch her grow and to nurture and spoil her. I never put her down. I never thought, ok she's asleep, can I go and do... whatever. There wasn't anything else I wanted to do.

Don't get me wrong, there was a time when I was exasperated and felt like I lost my identity as a person and had become only "Talia's mother" but that didn't happen until she was about 15 months old and most of my friends had finally really gone back to work and I just felt bored. Eventually I found a happy medium-- I sent her to daycare two days a week. I worked one day and did all the house stuff (and some stuff for myself too) the other day. Later, she went to preschool two mornings a week as well and I worked less so I started to have some time to myself and felt a renewed energy to be creative again. Well, that and also to try to get my house together for the move. While pregnant.

I just never realized how much my life would change with a second kid. No one bothered to tell me. I resented that my relationship with Talia had to change. I also figured that my desire to do things for myself would disappear again when Alex came. It didn't. At all. I look so longingly at my quilt magazines, shelves of books in the bookstore, even house projects like organizing the pantry (who would want to do that?) and I think that I'll never be able to do them. I put Alex down at every chance I get. I still almost always help Talia first when they both need me (he's so used to crying what's one more minute anyway?) I resent the fact that I can't really give quality time to either kid and I'm so sick of people NEEDING THINGS FROM ME! STOP TOUCHING ME!

And yet...

I was just feeding him at midnight and with closed eyes he was gently reaching out to find some part of me to hold onto. His smile is contagious. I'm so proud of him for rolling over-- I feel like he won the Nobel Prize or something. I didn't think I would feel that. I took some naked pictures of him yesterday because I don't want to forget what he looks like at this age. I'm beginning to realize that he might be my last baby and I'm TRYING to be in the moment a little bit more. I look at him sometimes and think, "I love you." That's kind of new.

My spoiled child or my spoiled self?

Talia: The cleaning people really need to come back here!

Me: Why?

Talia: 'Cause this house is a MESS!

Today is Wednesday. The cleaning people (who I can't even afford-- $160 can you believe it!?) came Monday. Talia is totally right-- the house IS a mess.

We found softie!

T's softie was missing for two nights. We had NO IDEA where it was, only that it was in the house. Ron and I looked EVERYWHERE. A MILLION TIMES! The cleaning people even came and we still didn't find it. Finally, this morning, Talia was showing me what she wanted for breakfast (Cheetos, which she didn't not have for breakfast but *did* have as a very early snack today). I had the Cheetos hidden (so I thought) in the pantry, where the door doesn't quite open all the way. Only Talia can really fit behind it. All of a sudden I looked down and there was softie. She was standing on it. I screamed "SOFTIE!" and we both started laughing. What a relief. Interestingly enough, she wasn't that upset about losing softie to begin with. She was easily appeased with a blanket she uses at daycare. Traitor.

Incidentally, I asked her what her favorite part of the day was today (a nightly ritual) and she said "When Daddy was holding Boo in the air and Boo spit up in his face!" which we didn't exactly witness but saw the aftermath of Ron with spit up on his face and glasses. We thought that was damn funny.

Boo rolled over!

I was busy so I put him on his belly. When I turned around a few moments (ok, a little longer than a FEW moments) he was lying on his back! Talia was my witness- we tried it twice more and both times he rolled from his front to his back. By the end he was mad as hell so it kind of seemed like a fluke-- he was flailing and all, but that's how they discover these things, right?

Why we call him Boo, I'm not sure. I like it but don't want it to be his name as an adult! We started calling him Binker Boo and Binx, and then somehow ended up with just Boo and it sticks. I mean, that's the actual name we use about 75% of the time. At least Talia's nickname is cool (We call her T most of the time). Poor Boo.

I made something!

I'm pretty sure this is the first thing I've really made since Alex was born. I pulled out an old fisher-price playhouse (vintage of course) for Talia to play with in the basement and put Alex on the playmat. My craft room is completely unorganized but I pulled out a bunch of fabric so I could make some onesie patches for a friend's new baby. I fused the patch lightly to the onesie and then zigzag stitched it on. It probably only took 15 minutes (and will only take 10 for the next ones) but it was really hard to fit it into our day-- especially when I'm nervous to iron around the kids. I used sharp sewing scissors with Alex in my lap-- is that wrong? I bought a set of 5 onesies and I hope to finish them for my friend tomorrow. I think I might embellish this one a little more. The onesies are so small there isn't a lot of room for the patch. This fabric has a lot of color but I had to choose only one small image for the patch. I got a strong sense of satisfaction from this little project though!

Cousins!

Details:: 2 :: Greenery

I have always wanted a home filled with plants. This is my start. I don't have the best record with keeping plants alive. I doubt any of those flowers will last long but I'm trying! I might even get another bench and put it along the adjacent wall. I had a hard time finding a piece of furniture that would serve this purpose and fit in the space. I'm thrilled with that bench. It even matches. I guess maybe I *should* run out and get another one before they are gone! Picking the flower pots was fun too-- I still need one or two. I'll take a close up of some later. Tonight I saw these fabric pots online. I really want one!

My two babes

The Prize Jar: Bribes Work... sometimes

Can you believe I have a 3 1/2 year old who rarely sleeps through the night? I went to Party City and bought about a dozen little prizes under $1, like a ball with a butterly on it, a Hello Kitty pencil, a Cinderella Pez dispenser etc. and put them in a jar. I told Talia that she could have a prize if she went to sleep without making a big fuss, didn't call for us overnight (thunderstorms excluded, of course) and didn't get out of bed until her clock said 7:00. Well... it totally worked! She got each of her prizes in the morning and now that we're out of prizes she still seems to be sleeping through the night without a problem. Whew.

Of course, I have promised her everything in the world if she would JUST POOP ON THE POTTY. She's been peeing on the potty for almost a year. I mean, really! What's the problem?

Details:: 1 :: Sunshine in the cabinet

I think I'll try to post once a week on something I love or some striking feature of my new house.

Week 1: I caught some sunshine filtering through the built in cabinet that separates the dining room from the entryway. The bowl that is glowing was bought by me in New Zealand in 2002 (?) at the Hoglund Art Glass Studio and Gallery. I love the cabinet, I love the sunshine, I love handblown glass.

interruptions

I'm enjoying reading blogs more than writing them these days so... sorry I haven't really been updating. Lots of family visiting for the next few weeks. I think my house is under control right now so maybe I'll have some more time to write and upload pictures soon.

Nikki Should...

I saw this on someone else's blog. Google your name with the word "should" after and you'll get all sorts of suggestions...

*NIKKI should die in the worst way possible.
*Nikki should speak out at a press conference/town hall meeting.
*Nikki should think about subjects she would really like to learn about or that interest her.
*Nikki should shut up, take the money and run.
*Nikki should go back to her roots to prove herself a good business woman.

Hmmmm...

Never enough time...

Well, I never seem to have time to update this. I feel like I can't write about the mundane everyday stuff without writing about the big events of moving and the new baby but I'd rather write about the small stuff so here's a brief update:



The baby:

Alex is almost 12 weeks old and seems to finally be getting better. He was extremely colicky and driving us crazy. We started giving him lactobacillus and also changed his formula to a reduced soy, broken down proteins one and something is helping. (or he's just growing out of that fussy stage). Now he still cries a ton but is consolable. We're not walking him around for hours while he screams. He still rarely sleeps during the day and only if I'm holding him but yesterday he slept in his swing for 45 minutes! He still HATES the car and screams every time we get in the car for the entire car ride. I've learned how to drive while holding his binky in. Basically I have to be double-jointed in my right shoulder. At home I can sort of rotate him around a few different seating areas, like the swing for a minute, his bouncy chair for 5 minutes,his playmat for 5 minutes, and his bumbo seat for 5 minutes. It's a lot better than before so I guess I'll take it!

The house:
Love it. Love everything about it-- except that it's hard to keep the kitchen clean. Why would granite countertops, stainless steel appliances and a glass top electric range be so desirable if they just show spots and handprints everywhere? There are many things about the house that I didn't discover until we got here (hidden storage, fantastic lighting etc.) and I'll take pictures and post something later.

The town:
Well, Middleton is Money Magazine's number one small town to live in for a reason. It is great here. People are friendly and helpful, the air is clean and fresh (although you can certainly smell "farm" if the wind is blowing a certain way), and life is certainly convenient. I love love love the nature trail two blocks from my house. I was there a few days ago and was so jealous of the families biking and walking. I figure Talia will be able to walk for a longer period of time... when? Probably never. And perhaps we'll be able to bike it as a family in about... 5 years? Lots of people have tandem attachments for the kids. Maybe we'll get one of those sometime. I want to borrow a neighbor's jogging stroller to see if T will tolerate that. She hates strollers and doesn't like the "bumps" in particular so I doubt she'll enjoy it. It's too hot these days anyway. Looks like Ron and I will have to give each other time to go there separately.

Money:
I'm acting like I have more money but I don't yet. I'm buying more organic produce and more prepared items at Whole Foods. I'm sending gifts to friends. I'm practically hemorrhaging money to Target. I bought the kids some new clothes and FOUR shirts for myself (at H&M, so it wasn't too much). We haven't received a paycheck yet. Housecleaners are more expensive here-- I guess they're not illegal immigrants like in Philly and have to actually pay the government and give themselves health insurance here. We're going to start with once every other week but I really want it once a week.

Family and Friends:
I miss everyone but they don't feel that far away. Since I never really talked to my Philly friends on the phone it seems weird to do so now, so I miss having close relationships with people I see every day. I am becoming closer to some neighbors and will meet people outside of the neighborhood someday.

Talia:
She seems to have adjusted perfectly fine. She loves having neighbor friends, likes school, loves swimming and gymnastic classes. She definitely wants me to play with her more and does not want to go to bed. We gave up the nap in this whole moving situation and that's fine with me-- I like the freedom of not having to be home everyday after lunch-- but she doesn't go to bed any earlier. And when she does nap at school it's even harder to get her to bed and she STILL wakes up in the middle of the night once or twice to get her covers put back on. I mean, really, how hard is it to put the blankets on yourself?!?! Alex sleeps at night better than she does.

Time for me:
Haven't had much. Went on the nature trail once. Sewed a little the other day while T played with fabric and Alex napped. Had a babysitter and had a "date" with Ron, if you call furniture shopping a date.

Ok, now that that stuff if out of the way I can start talking about the little stuff again. Like how I love my new laundry detergent. It smells soooooo good! Downy Simple Pleasures in Water Lily and Jasmine. You will NOT be disappointed!

I also went to a few garage sales and bought a big rubbermaid tote filled with fabric for $25 and got a lot of good stuff. A bunch of 30's reproduction type prints and a pile of batiks as well. I'm trying to make this flag garland from Land of Nod. It's going to look great!

Lastly, I love GPS. It's the greatest thing that has ever happened to me.

Please Stop Crying

#1 Place to Live According to Money Magazine

1. Middleton, Wis.
Population: 17,400Median home price (2006): $290,269Average property taxes (2005): $5,067Pros: Small-town charm; booming economy; extensive parks and bike trailsCons: Do you like winter?Many Middletonians commute to Madison, but Middleton proper has a strong pool of jobs too, mainly in the pharmaceutical, tech and medical industries. After business hours, Middleton has more going on than you might expect for a town of 17,000. The beer garden at the Capital Brewery is host to corporate mixers, and there are good restaurants downtown.But make no mistake: Family life is what Middleton is about. In the summer you'll see parents and kids plying the bike trails of the conservancy, splashing in the town's waterslide-equipped pool or sailing on Lake Mendota. On the downside, winter is tough, and there's not great ethnic diversity.

Arrival in the Midwest

ahhhh.... It's so quiet. All I can hear are birds chirping. I have the most spectacular view-- an unobstructed expanse of rolling farmland with actual barns and silos-- no joke! I think I love it here.

Perhaps I wasn't meant to live in the city?

We arrived almost a week ago and have the essential parts of the house out of boxes, if not in order. I love the house, I love the neighborhood, I love the town, I love the QUIET! We haven't heard a siren since we got here.

So the house is great. It's very sunny, very spacious, has tons of storage. I honestly think I'll be able to keep the house neat, if you can believe that. I love that the playroom has all the toys which can disappear at night. I love my fireplace and covered tv cabinet. I like the kitchen, I'm getting used to the open design. Ron put away all the kitchen wares out of the boxes so soon I will have to re-organize everything to my liking. I'm not going to continue on and on about the house; you'll just have to come visit to see it. My in-laws were here for a couple of days and I never even went into the basement guest room and they seemed very much out of the way so guests are welcome welcome welcome!

My neighboorhood is great so far. It's been super hot so no one has been out the last day or two but there was the cutest parade on July 4th-- a firetruck followed with all the kids in the neighborhood on bikes or being pulled in wagons with balloons and flags etc. Then in the evening there was a pot-luck at the park (1 block away) for the families on our street and there are tons of kids here. Supposedly there are two princess-y sisters right near us ages 3 and 5 but we haven't met them yet. My next door neighbor ACTUALLY BAKED ME A PIE. I'm not kidding. Other neighbors dropped off rice krispie treats and chocolate covered oreos. One neighbor lent us their brand new lawn mower so Ron could do the yard (which took all of 20 minutes). People wave. A girl had a lemonade stand out yesterday and cups of lemonade were 10 cents.

We joined the pool, which is really big, VERY cool (a huge sand area with shade and water structures, two huge water slides, snack bar etc.) and only cost $130 for a family of 5. It doesn't open until 1:30 though because of swim team. Talia is going to take lessons starting in two weeks. I got my library card and the library is very nice with a kids play area. Luckily it has the whole online reservation thing so I can get whatever books I want from 7 counties.

Yesterday we went into downtown Madison (15 minutes) and went to the farmer's market. I am unable to describe the magnitude of the market so I won't even try. Those of you who've been here know what I'm talking about. It just confirms the whole atmosphere of Madison in general-- people are really into local agriculture and outdoor activities. I bought lots of fresh local produce, cheese, bread and rainbow tie-dye socks for Talia. I even got shelled peas. I bought the MOST BEAUTIFUL flower bouquet (I don't even have a vase big enough) for $5.

Talia's school is the coolest place ever. There was a little table at the entrance last week that had a foam board and next to it a basket filled with found and donated objects in red, white and blue-- detergent caps, lego pieces, a few small knitted squares etc. and a bunch of rolls of tape. A sign said- please add to our sculpture as the week goes by. So simple and yet so creative. There are live birds in the school. They get produce from a CSA for snack. The director decided not to charge me for the full month because Talia was really only going three weeks. THIS is what the Midwest is like! Someone came by today with cookies and gave us a Kettler tricycle for Talia to ride for the summer since her boys had moved on to bikes.

Alex seems to like Wisconsin also. He has hopefully grown out of his colicky stage and does not cry for hours on end for no reason. He still really doesn't sleep during the day at all. It's quite strange. All you want to do is put him down and every time you try he wakes up within 10 minutes. He does generally sleep ok at night, waking mostly to eat but sometimes will wiggle around and grunt for hours between feedings but not really awake-- he doesn't open his eyes and doesn't exactly cry. He does need care during that time-- binky, patting etc. and thus we are exhausted. We bought him a fancy swing and a bouncy chair so he's not as neglected as he was in Philly.

Well I'm really tired. I wrote this email in two sessions so sorry if I've repeated myself. Ron has another week off and then he's working full time. He *might* take Talia to Chicago this weekend for his dad's 60th and I might stay here with Alex. Even if the kid doesn't sleep during the day I can just sit with him in front of the tv, maybe run some errands (I think I've given Target about $1000 this week) and try to RELAX. I'm going to bed.

Saying Goodbye

Fun at Aunt Jojo's before the big trip

Bye Philadelphia

It's been nice knowing you.

T, Alex and I leave tomorrow morning. I'm nervous about a solo three and a half hour car trip. For Talia we have a DVD player and about $100 worth of new toys (for the 16 hour ride to Madison but also this ride too). I'm not too worried about dealing with her. On the other hand... Alex really hates the car. He's either going to SCREAM or SLEEP the entire way.

I'm trying to look forward to relaxing at my sister's. I'm stressed about taking care of both kids by myself- well, not so much caring for them but sharing a room (a bed) with both of them. Alex will wake up at night and Talia will be in the room too but I think that will be ok because he mostly just eats and sleeps at night. Usually when we sleep somewhere other than home Talia and I share a bed and I go to bed when she does-- but now I have to take care of Alex too and he doesn't go to sleep at the same time so she will have to sleep alone which may be a problem in a strange room. I have to just relax and let it go. It will be what it is and it's only for a few nights. On the other hand, I don't have anywhere else to be, packing will be done and I can't do anything about moving in until I get to Wisconsin so it could be great to be at Jo's.

We move in 7/2 so I might be radio silent for a while. I'll catch you on the flip side.

Almost Smiling

I've had no time to interact with my baby during this packing/ moving situation. He's 8 weeks old and won't smile reliably yet. It take quite a bit of work. Hopefully we can work on it together for the next couple of days at my sister's house.

Father's Day

Of course I told Ron he could sleep in. The kids woke up at 5:30. Thanks.

sister and brother

continued

After three wardrobe changes, every toy in the house taken out, and no actual work done, the day is finally over. I chose to stay home instead of go out because I felt like I had no energy. I'm not sure that was the best solution. Staying home caused me to need a medium level of energy to be sustained throughout the day instead of the bursts of high energy that are needed for going out.

Not even 9 am yet.

It's not even 9 am today and so far we have:

*washed all of the tea set in soapy water (and made a mess in the kitchen)

*given the kitty a doctor check up (and made a mess in the living room)

*played with play-doh (and made a mess in the dining room)

*pollys pollys pollys (and made a mess all over the house)

Oh, and I have another kid to take care of too. And a house to pack.

new pictures

Since I can't find time to write, I may as well post some new pictures.