Let me count the ways...

So Shayna is six weeks old tonight. Have we really made it this far? Is time flying so fast or crawling-- I can't tell? In some ways I feel like I can't remember what life was like without her. In other ways I feel like, "So this is my life now?" as in, I'm never going to have time to myself ever again, I'm always going to feel like I'm shortchanging at least one of the kids (not to mention my husband), I'm still not sure how I'm going to manage to run a household with a baby plus two big kids. I try to take a breath and sit back and remember I felt this way about having one and then having two...

Shayna is a GREAT baby. She sleeps a LOT and still always manages to sleep well at night. Talia was an ok baby but Alex was a really shitty baby so Shayna is an absolute dream compared to him. The kids adjusted so well-- they are both in love with her and there hasn't been any fallout from the new addition. They still have their issues (Talia is NOT a good listener and Alex, while potty trained, never ever tells us he has to go. We just take him every two hours and we're fine-- or he'll just go in his pants) but nothing has changed in their behavior since she was born (actually they now play together soooooo well!). Shayna has become quite a little fat one. She's busting out of her newborn size clothes and we're into the 0-3 mo. stuff now. Nursing is, well, I won't bore you to death with my complicated and frustrating nursing story but let's just say that, for the time being, we have a system going and she gets whatever I have to give her. She has lots of hair but what's more remarkable is how LONG it is. It's longer in the back than Alex's and almost as long as Talia's. She needs a cut or she's going to have a mullet... By 6 weeks, Talia's hair had lightened up considerably and Alex's had mostly fallen out but was also light. Her eyes are unmistakably blue but again, much darker than the other kids. She seems good natured and easy going and we're all thankful for that. I've been able to get her to smile and she has TWO dimples. I can't wait to show them off!

In looking through old posts in order to prove what a bad baby Alex was (and I couldn't really find any so I must not have been very truthful here) I could see how quickly Alex became a real person. Sometimes I find myself looking at Shayna and trying to force myself to really SEE her. I can't even see her when I'm looking right at her. I know this babyhood disappears in the blink of an eye. It's gone already-- but try as I might, it's really hard to be present and experience it fully.